Anyways, my holiday life is so very pathetic at the moment. All I do is laze around the house all day catching up on my TV Shows. It's fun but the more I spend each day watching, the more guilt I feel. The way I'm going right now, in two years I'm going to regret everything.

I've always had this theory that if I got into medical school, everything in my life would fall slowly and gradually into place. I still believe in that theory, but it's not going to happen if I continue to act this way. I can't seem to bring myself to work, though! I have a very short attention span, but during holidays it feels like that part of me is intensified, my normally very short attention span becomes very, very short during holidays. It's not healthy! Why can't I be one of those incredibly smart, hardworking nerdy people? :(

A friend of mine pointed out to me a few days ago that I was a hypocrite. Why? Because even though I'm focused (not too sure if that's the word to describe me at the moment) and determined (not too sure if this is an appropriate word either), I am also filled with distractions such as concerts (I am going to Taylor Swift & Cobra Starship/Owl City), and she couldn't stand the fact that some days I would be having a whinge about how I won't get into medical school, and other days I would be so excited over the different concerts I was going to. You know what? I completely agree. I am a hypocrite. How am I ever going to get into medical school this way? School needs my complete attention, but it seems like my social life comes first. I feel horrible and incredibly guilty. A part of me is screaming, 'i need a social life!' and another part of me is saying wisely, 'remember that everything will fall into place once you get into medical school.' and the final part of me is whispering in the background, 'don't you want your parents to be proud?' And I do. I want my parents' approval so badly. And right now, with all the pressure they're giving me to get into medical school, becoming a doctor seems to be the only way.

Time really flies. I can't believe it's finally time for me to wise up and think about the future. What happened to watching pokemon, playing with barbie dolls and playing in the playground with my best friends? Feels like it was just yesterday I was doing all of those things. I used to think growing up would be fun, but now I'm starting to realise that maybe I was wrong.

Anyways, my holiday life is so very pathetic at the moment. All I do is laze around the house all day catching up on my TV Shows. It's fun but the more I spend each day watching, the more guilt I feel. The way I'm going right now, in two years I'm going to regret everything.

I've always had this theory that if I got into medical school, everything in my life would fall slowly and gradually into place. I still believe in that theory, but it's not going to happen if I continue to act this way. I can't seem to bring myself to work, though! I have a very short attention span, but during holidays it feels like that part of me is intensified, my normally very short attention span becomes very, very short during holidays. It's not healthy! Why can't I be one of those incredibly smart, hardworking nerdy people? :(

A friend of mine pointed out to me a few days ago that I was a hypocrite. Why? Because even though I'm focused (not too sure if that's the word to describe me at the moment) and determined (not too sure if this is an appropriate word either), I am also filled with distractions such as concerts (I am going to Taylor Swift & Cobra Starship/Owl City), and she couldn't stand the fact that some days I would be having a whinge about how I won't get into medical school, and other days I would be so excited over the different concerts I was going to. You know what? I completely agree. I am a hypocrite. How am I ever going to get into medical school this way? School needs my complete attention, but it seems like my social life comes first. I feel horrible and incredibly guilty. A part of me is screaming, 'i need a social life!' and another part of me is saying wisely, 'remember that everything will fall into place once you get into medical school.' and the final part of me is whispering in the background, 'don't you want your parents to be proud?' And I do. I want my parents' approval so badly. And right now, with all the pressure they're giving me to get into medical school, becoming a doctor seems to be the only way.

Time really flies. I can't believe it's finally time for me to wise up and think about the future. What happened to watching pokemon, playing with barbie dolls and playing in the playground with my best friends? Feels like it was just yesterday I was doing all of those things. I used to think growing up would be fun, but now I'm starting to realise that maybe I was wrong.