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Monday, April 21, 2008 [8:27 PM]
i am sick of life.

The line Best Friends Forever is getting a little old. The more we say it, the faster it loses it's meaning. Maybe it's time for me to realise that BFF doesn't exist. I should stop clinging to certain people and move on.

To V.
We're in the same school, yet I feel we're drifting apart. I've always thought of you as a best friend, but I'm not sure if you thought of me as a best friend. Maybe it's because we're in different classes, but we were in different classes in year 7 and 8, and our friendship managed to overcome those obstacles. Why now? It's not the same anymore, is it? When i see you around school, it's like as if we're acquaintances. A small hello, and a wave, and that's it.
I thought we were best friends. I really did.
If we were best friends, I wouldn't be the only one putting effort into this friendship.
I guess it was a one-sided thing, huh?
Best Friends Forever.


To T.
So I've moved schools, and we still talk on msn, but it's not the same as seeing each other everyday at school, right? Everything is so different now, and when we talk on msn, the conversation stops because we have nothing to say to each other. On the phone, it's even worse. There's always an awkward silence. Is this really how a friendship should be like?
I think this time though, it's because of me. I live so far away now, so I can never meet up, and on msn or on the phone, I can never think of what to say to keep the conversation continuous.
I blame myself for slowly destroying this friendship.
I blame myself for everything.
I'll try my best to fix things up between us. I just hope it's not too late.

To A.
You're one of the two people I can trust with my life. I don't know how I would've lived if I didn't have you in my life. I've known you since I was 2 years old, and I'm glad our friendship is still strong. We live in different countries, yet we're still best friends. we've had our ups and downs, and I've done things to you that I should never have. I still feel bad about it, to this day. I'm just so unbelievably glad you gave me a second chance.
You're the only person who understands me inside out.
You always see through me, even when I'm trying my hardest to act happy.
I miss you and I wish you were here.

To S.
I'm usually mean to you, cause you're the youngest in the group, but I hope you know that you're the other person I know that I can trust with my life. I can trust you with anything, and I know that if I tell you a secret, you'll keep it as a secret. Your friendship is something I live for. I hope you never change, and I hope our friendship never changes. This BFF status between you and me, is what's keeping me alive.
You will always be my best friend and I hope we never drift apart.
Cause if that ever happens, I think I would die.